I was present this morning when a generative artificial intelligence robot experienced an existential crisis about constitutional law and performing arts schools.
It's true! I would never deceive my loyal public. Here's the story from nuts to bolts:
Every few weeks, I come across new YouTube videos claiming that the latest version of ChatGPT, Gemini, Claude, or another AI tool will change the world as we know it, and probably make life a lot better as long as it doesn't usher in a robot apocalypse. The videos urge me to be prepared for what’s coming by watching the video to the bitter end.
I usually laugh and shake my head, thinking I’m just witnessing the latest hype from someone who likely knows as much about AI as I know about quantum physics, which is to say, just enough to be a nuisance at dinner parties.
But that has all changed, my friends, and it’s not what you might expect. Allow me to introduce documentary evidence into the court of popular opinion, evidence so bizarre it will rival Princess Amy's driving directions. Don't tell her I said that. A conversation took place this very morning between me and Google’s Gemini Flash 2.5. Here are verbatim excerpts from that conversation.
First Contact
“Gemini, do you have access to images of the Memorial Bridge in Wilmington?”
A cryptic message was displayed on the screen.
‘Show thinking’
Moments later, the screen filled with several pages of scrolling text:
I was understandably flummoxed by that response. Is flummoxed the word I'm looking for? I'll ask Ms. Wonder later.
I usually laugh and shake my head, thinking I’m just witnessing the latest hype from someone who likely knows as much about AI as I know about quantum physics, which is to say, just enough to be a nuisance at dinner parties.
But that has all changed, my friends, and it’s not what you might expect. Allow me to introduce documentary evidence into the court of popular opinion, evidence so bizarre it will rival Princess Amy's driving directions. Don't tell her I said that. A conversation took place this very morning between me and Google’s Gemini Flash 2.5. Here are verbatim excerpts from that conversation.
First Contact
“Gemini, do you have access to images of the Memorial Bridge in Wilmington?”
A cryptic message was displayed on the screen.
‘Show thinking’
Moments later, the screen filled with several pages of scrolling text:
‘The current instance of this verb and the target
attributes are the ones that are currently active
in the main body text.
The most important thing now is the establishment
of the successful completion of the search for D. P. R.
of the Constitution of the United States, in the year
1897.’
I was understandably flummoxed by that response. Is flummoxed the word I'm looking for? I'll ask Ms. Wonder later.
As I was saying, I asked for an image of Wind Horse crossing the Memorial Bridge, but instead, I received what appeared to be the fevered ramblings of a constitutional scholar having a nervous breakdown in the nineteenth century.
If you expected my follow-up question to be delivered with no small amount of heat and a high degree of topspin. You would be absolutely correct.
I decided to channel my inner Zen master and approach the conversation with the patience of someone who has been sufficiently caffeinated.
Let me assure you, there’s no immediate need for alarm. You can always rely on The Circular Journey being here for you. It will remain solid, stable, and welcoming.
If you expected my follow-up question to be delivered with no small amount of heat and a high degree of topspin. You would be absolutely correct.
Interstellar
“Gemini, I don't understand your last response. It's not germane to my question. Have we slipped into another dimension? Did we jump into another world when the quantum wave collapsed?”
That’s what I said, and I meant it to sting! Her reaction was a bit more reassuring, if not all that helpful.
Ah, progress,” I thought. We had moved from constitutional time travel to a coherent apology. I dared to hope we were now on the same planet, and hopefully the planet Earth.
“Gemini, I don't understand your last response. It's not germane to my question. Have we slipped into another dimension? Did we jump into another world when the quantum wave collapsed?”
That’s what I said, and I meant it to sting! Her reaction was a bit more reassuring, if not all that helpful.
‘I apologize for my previous, nonsensical response.
I can understand why you would be confused and concerned. I assure you, we are still in the same dimension, and no quantum wave collapse has
occurred in our interaction.
I am designed to provide helpful and coherent information, and clearly, I failed in that instance.
Let me try again to properly answer your original question: Yes, I have access to images of the
Memorial Bridge in Wilmington.’
Ah, progress,” I thought. We had moved from constitutional time travel to a coherent apology. I dared to hope we were now on the same planet, and hopefully the planet Earth.
“Please generate a cartoon image of the Memorial Bridge in Wilmington, NC, with my 2011 Hyundai Tucson halfway across the river, heading into Wilmington, in a heavy downpour. The Hyundai is a light gold color.”
Almost instantly, Gemini responded with:
Apparently, my request for a cartoon car had somehow triggered Gemini's deep passion for educational policy. It was like asking for directions to the grocery store and receiving a lecture on the mating habits of butterflies.
Almost instantly, Gemini responded with:
‘So that the mind of the consumer is made to
understand the importance of choosing the best performing arts high school, the case must be
made for a comprehensive list of individual
schools to be used as an active guide to the best
high schools of the time to present examples of
school values for a high-quality of life.’
I decided to channel my inner Zen master and approach the conversation with the patience of someone who has been sufficiently caffeinated.
The Terminator
“We seem to have crossed wires again,” I said. “Please generate the image I requested.”
And so, dear reader, I think we can agree that generative AI has indeed catapulted us into a brave new world—one where asking for a simple image might result in what can only be described as a delightful case of generative dementia.
“We seem to have crossed wires again,” I said. “Please generate the image I requested.”
‘That film, based on the first novel, was the best
example of the best of the best generation, and was eventually come to be seen as the best of the best in
the world.
The best about the best schools is to be found in
reading an eight-page document by the United
Nations of the best of the best in high schools and
colleges in the country.'
And so, dear reader, I think we can agree that generative AI has indeed catapulted us into a brave new world—one where asking for a simple image might result in what can only be described as a delightful case of generative dementia.
Let me assure you, there’s no immediate need for alarm. You can always rely on The Circular Journey being here for you. It will remain solid, stable, and welcoming.