Many Worlds Theory

Quantum Physics Solved My Summer Driving Woes

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This post may not be what you’ve come to expect, but don't worry, and put down that remote control. Have I ever let you down? Of course not! Once you've read it, we'll share a laugh, and you'll thank me for it.

The Great Traffic Transformation

The Carolina coast is a subtropical paradise, but we do suffer from a unique type of stress caused by the summer vacation season. Tourists flock in droves to our beaches, surfing spots, seafood restaurants, and art festivals. You know the routine—you've probably been here yourself, adding to our delightful chaos.

With the tourists comes the inevitable traffic on Ocean Highway—a bumper-to-bumper nightmare that would make a city planner weep. Picture hordes of vacationers rushing from the downtown riverwalk and its seafood restaurants to get to the beaches for surfing and Island Ices. It's like watching salmon swim upstream, except the salmon are in minivans and nobody's going to spawn. On second thought, I’ve heard stories that might challenge that assertion.

This year, the traffic buildup started unusually early, in March. By the time June rolled around, I'd given up trips to the beach because the traffic on Ocean Highway was terrific! And not in a good way. When I say "terrific," I'm thinking of the song "Home for the Holidays" by Andy Williams. Many have sung that song, but none can compare to Andy's holiday magic.

The M. Night Shyamalan Plot Twist

Yesterday morning, I read a news story about a record decline in summer tourism along the Carolina coast from Myrtle Beach to Surf City. The article reported that coastal roads are experiencing lighter-than-expected traffic during what should have been the busiest weekend of the season.

Wait, what? How is it possible that news media are reporting lighter-than-expected traffic, while I'm experiencing heavier-than-expected? My first instinct was to cry "fake news!" But then something extraordinary happened.

Around lunchtime, I left home to visit Dr. Coast on the island. I left early to give myself plenty of time to negotiate the heavy traffic. Are you sitting down? You should sit.

I haven't seen traffic so light since last fall. I couldn't believe it. Not only was it not "terrific," it wasn't even worth mentioning. The highway was practically empty—it was like driving through a post-apocalyptic movie, except instead of zombies, there were just a few confused seagulls wondering where all the French fries went.

The Many Worlds Theory

Now, if you've made it this far, I want to thank you, and I haven't forgotten my promise to make this post worth your time. Get ready for the punchline—and a brief, painless journey into quantum physics. No equations, I promise.

There is a theory in quantum physics known as the "many worlds" or "multiverse" theory. It attempts to explain the collapse of the wave function. I understand! Tranquilo, tranquilo, mi amigo. Take a deep breath.

What it means is that all possibilities exist simultaneously. It's like this: Will you get that job you want or not? According to the "many worlds" theory, both events occur, just in different dimensions. You get the job and are happy, but another "you" in another world didn't get the job and is disappointed. Somewhere out there, there's a version of you celebrating, and another version eating ice cream and updating your resume.

Here's where it gets interesting for our traffic mystery. There's only one sensible answer to how traffic can be both lighter and heavier at the same time: it's both, just in different worlds. See? Simple.

I know! I didn't want to believe it either, but there's no other explanation—the wave function collapsed when I read the article about the drop in tourist numbers. Perhaps reading the article caused the collapse! One moment I was stuck in Traffic World A, and in the same moment I was breezing through Traffic World B, windows down, and the Climax Blues Band singing their hit song, 'Finally Got It Right.'

Living in the Best Timeline

It is possible, my dear and deserving followers, that some members of our community are now reading a different Circular Journey post. In another dimension, I'm blogging about my successful career as a famous travel journalist. I must remember to keep that in mind as I compose future blog posts.

No matter what's happening in all those other worlds, I'm happy you're in this world with me, and not in another. I'd miss you. Besides, this timeline appears to be the one where the traffic finally cooperated—and honestly, that's a pretty good world to be stuck in.

So the next time you're caught in 'terrific' traffic that suddenly becomes perfectly clear, don't question it. Just smile and remember: somewhere in the multiverse, another version of you is still sitting in that traffic jam, wondering when you'll get home.