Best Songs of the 80s: Part 2

Here’s the second half of the countdown, rewritten to match our "Circular Journey" vibe. I’ve leaned into that blend of critical confusion and the inevitable triumph of a good synthesizer.

Synthesizers, Staring Contests, and Critical Confusion: Rolling Stone’s Top ’80s Hits Part 2

Welcome back to the bridge of the GMS Coastal Voyager. Earlier, we saw how the "pros" almost talked Michael Jackson out of his best bassline. Now, we’re diving into the rest of the Top 10, where the critics faced off against New Wave, big hair, and the daunting task of figuring out what Kate Bush was actually doing on that hill.

Let’s pick up where we left off—with more evidence that time is a much better judge than a man with a deadline and a bad mood.

6. Whitney Houston - "How Will I Know" (1985)

Critics called it "pure pop of the highest pedigree" and "nigh untouchable," with Whitney demonstrating raw vocal power done right. Billboard ranked it among the greatest pop songs of all time, and it became her second number-one hit.

Dave Rimmer of Smash Hits was savage, calling it "this dreary bit of disco" that was nowhere near as good as her other work, adding it "sounds positively snooze worthy, in fact." 

Another critic complained about the "annoyingly bouncy" production and "clunky, thudding drum sounds" that were "as unmistakably Eighties as Joan Collins' Dynasty wardrobe." 

The song that was originally intended for Janet Jackson (who passed on it) became Whitney's breakthrough hit and won Best Female Video at the MTV Video Music Awards. Janet's loss was Whitney's gain.

Calling Whitney Houston's vocals "dreary disco" is like calling the Atlantic Ocean "a nice ditch"—technically words, but wildly missing the point.

7. The Go-Go’s – "Our Lips Are Sealed" (1981)

Critics loved the "shimmering pop" and the fact that a group of women was actually playing their own instruments (imagine the shock!). It was hailed as the perfect summer anthem.

Some reviewers dismissed it as "bubblegum fluff." One particularly grumpy critic called it "an exercise in vacuity," basically suggesting the song had the intellectual depth of a puddle.

That "vacuity" has kept us humming along for over four decades. It wasn't just fluff; it was a blueprint for indie-pop. The Go-Go's proved that you can be catchy as a cold and still be a legitimate rock band.

The only song on this list that was so undeniably perfect, critics had to wait 23 years and a Hilary Duff cover to find something to complain about.

8. Duran Duran – "Hungry Like the Wolf" (1982)

The "New Romantics" were finally taken seriously for their sleek, cinematic production. Critics called it "the ultimate MTV track"—a song built for the visual age.

Oh, the visual age was exactly the problem for some. Critics accused the band of being "style over substance," focusing more on their expensive hair products and exotic music videos than the music. One reviewer called the lyrics "nonsensical animal metaphors."

Maybe it is a bit nonsensical, but have you heard that bassline? It doesn’t matter if the metaphors are fuzzy when the groove is that sharp. Duran Duran didn’t just bring the hair; they brought the hooks. 

When your song is called "lifeless" in 1982 but wins the first-ever Grammy for Best Music Video, clearly someone's pulse-checking skills need work.

9. Kate Bush – "Running Up That Hill" (1985)

This was hailed as a "sonic masterpiece." Critics marveled at the Fairlight CMI synthesizer work and Kate’s ability to turn a deal with God into a Top 40 hit.

At the time, some critics found it "too experimental" or "impenetrable." They struggled with her vocal delivery, which—to be fair—is an acquired taste if you’re used to standard-issue pop. One critic wondered if it was "too weird for American radio."

Fast forward to 2022, and thanks to a certain show about Upside Down monsters, a whole new generation discovered that "too weird" is exactly what we needed. Kate Bush didn’t just run up that hill; she built a house on top of it and waited for the rest of us to catch up. 

Being called "precocious, dated, and dull" in 1985 only to become the oldest woman with a UK number-one hit in 2022 is the ultimate long game.

10. The Smiths – "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out" (1986) 

This was the "indie-rock national anthem." Critics praised Morrissey’s dry wit and Johnny Marr’s jangly, perfect guitar work. It captured that specific '80s feeling of being romantic and miserable at the exact same time.

Some critics couldn't get past the "morbid" lyrics. I mean, singing about a ten-ton truck crashing into you isn't exactly "Good Morning" energy. They called it "self-indulgent gloom."

Self-indulgence never sounded so good. It’s a song for anyone who’s ever felt like a bit of an outsider—or a carpenter woodpecker with technical difficulties. It remains a masterpiece of the "unoptimized" life. 

Refusing to release your best song as a single while the band is together is the most Smiths thing The Smiths ever did, and somehow it worked anyway.

The Final Lesson 

Looking back at these ten tracks (Parts 1 and 2), a theme emerges: The critics were almost always wrong about the "weird" stuff. They wanted efficiency and standard protocols, but the artists wanted to slap the back of the SUV and see what happened. 

I think I’ll stick with the music and let time do the reviewing.

What about you? Which '80s song did you initially hate, only to realize later it was a masterpiece? Drop a comment—unless you’re a cardinal or a bailiff, in which case, keep it down.