This morning after the usual 12-point inspection of the soul vessel and routine maintenance on the 3 cats, I sat on the screened porch with a steaming mug of Jah's mercy and contemplated the dark clouds on the horizon. I didn't like them.
I remember thinking that it was just another version of an old, familiar story. The universe lulls you into a false sense of security with a string of days featuring clear, blue skies and warm sunshine, and then when you're feeling that God's on his throne and all's right with the world, she throws into your lap one of those weather-of-the-century freak events.
"What's troubling you?" asked a voice from stage left. I didn't need to look to know that Ms. Wonder had entered the porch.
"Nothing new," I said.
"Can I help?" she asked.
"How well are you liked by the weather gods?" I said.
"I was just coming to let you know that a storm's headed this way," she said and then added, "According to the Weather Channel."
The words had barely escaped her lips when the skies shook with thunder. The rumbling began offshore and tumbled up the Cape Fear River and on toward Virginia.
"Better get the cats inside," she said but her advice was mute because before she finished speaking, the cats were up and through the door, each headed for their personal favorite hiding spot.
Following closely on the cats' heels was a gust of wind that rattled the windows and then with no notice whatever the rain began. But not just rain. Most of what fell for the next 10 minutes was ice--hail the size of the diamond that Richard Burton gave Elizabeth Taylor. The ground was covered in ice in less than a minute and the temperature dropped from refreshingly brisk to brrrr-cold.
I stood looking out the window at the wonder of God's handiwork if that's what it was. I remember thinking, This is another fine kettle of fish you've gotten us into. I was also thinking that Beignet had an appointment with the veterinarian in about 30 minutes and I wondered if the vet techs would come out to the curb in a hailstorm to take him inside.
"Did you say something about fish?" asked the Wonder.
"Did I say that out loud?" I said.
"Either that or I read your mind," she said.
At that moment the hail stopped, the skies cleared, and the sun shone. I know! Go figure, right? Sometimes I think that if I were in charge of the weather, I could do a much better job. But I've got other things to do and I suppose I'll just have to make the best of what I get.
Right about now, you're probably thinking, Life comes hard and fast and that I, as much as anyone, should know that. And you're absolutely right on both counts. Once again I'm reminded that the prudent person tries to be prepared for anything and enjoy, as much as possible, the Laurel and Hardy act that is modern life.
I looked at Ms. Wonder. She was looking at me. I shrugged and so did she. I decided it was time for a grande flat-white. What else can you do?