After giving thought to the idea of bunging a few bricks into the midst of leaf blowers and lawnmowers, I instead gave up the qigong ghost and headed to the local caffeine den.
Ankling toward the bar, I noticed the headlines on the Wilmington Star News lamenting the latest abomination of the North Carolina legislature and I felt Princess Amy hotting up in the darkest recesses of my mind. She was getting rowdy. I hurried toward the bar hoping that a steaming cup of Jah's Mercy would restore my sangfroid. It was not to be.
"Where have you been?" said Amy Normal (no relation to Princess Amy) the part-time barista and Backup Mistress of the Castle Street Arts District Night, for it was she taking up space behind the Order Here sign. "I haven't seen you in days."
"Oh?" I said. The comeback, I am fully aware, was lacking the usual Genome flair but don't forget those Furies who, even now, were creeping ever closer like a gang of Aunts.
"It's no good saying, 'Oh' with that tone of voice as though you don't give a damn," she said. "Consider the planets, the solar system, the universal plan for spiritual enlightenment." She embellished the last remark by lifting a hand upward, as though we could see planets and whatnot from inside the coffee shop.
"Enlightenment?" I repeated, still feeling the Furies breathing down my neck. "Amy, I have just now left Brunswick Forest where I was performing my morning Qigong, but the landscape crew decided to show up and ruin my serenity with their leaf blowers and hedge trimmers."
"Oh, you and your Qigong," she said, rolling her eyes. "Why don't you just stick to yoga like normal people?"
"Yoga is for basic people," I retorted, trying to regain my composure. "Qigong is a spiritual practice that connects the body, mind, and breath. It's like yoga, but with more Kung Fu."
"Whatever you say, sensei," she said with a smirk. "But honestly, I think you're just using it as an excuse to avoid reality."
I couldn't deny that there was some truth to her words. I'd been feeling a bit down lately, and Qigong had become my escape vehicle. Actually, my entire life has recently become a daydream of sorts, the better to ward off the coming Artificial Intelligence insurgence. But with the Furies still hot on my heels, I decided to take her advice and face reality head-on, if only for a day.
"You may be right, Amy," I said, surrendering to the inevitable. "I will deal with the Furies, and the North Carolina legislature, and Princess Amy. I swear it. But first, I need a steaming cup of brew-ha-ha to help me through the day."
"That's more like it," she said, smiling as she prepared my order. "And who knows, maybe you'll find some peace and tranquility in the chaos of reality."
With my steaming cup of globally grown but locally roasted in hand, I left the coffee shop feeling more like a hero and less like a victim of Greek tragedy. As I walked through the streets of Brunswick, I couldn't help but think that sometimes, reality can be just as Zen as Qigong.