You see, I'm diagnosed by those who do that sort of thing with a condition that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual calls Bipolar Type II, Mixed-State, Rapid-Cycling. All it means, of course, is that I'm often depressed, anxious, and hopeless. It's just a normal part of my life. Makes me think of the words often attributed to Frank Sinatra, "it ain't no good life, but it's my life." Like that.
On second thought, those words of Sinatra's are song lyrics, aren't they?
No one can get used to feeling that way but one can become resigned to it and that's been my condition ever since my mother died three years ago. It wasn't so much her death that threw me into this mental state as it was the fact that I'd been her full-time caretaker for a number of years prior to her passing and when she left, I discovered that I had no purpose and had lost touch with what I wanted from life.
Well, that's sort of interesting...I've never noticed how much my life parallels Napoleon's. Except for the Emperor part.
I've struggled for those three years with trying to find a purpose and a bien ettre, as the French might say, but for some reason, I didn't do the things that I knew would help. I allowed life to get in the way and to distract me from the principles I'd learned in my mental health recovery. I believe this reluctance, or avoidance, is part of the disease.
Recently, I've seemed to become more awake and to realize that I do have a marvelous life. I have a superb partner in Ms. Wonder, who I'm sure you've met by now. She has an amazing brain, probably because she eats so much fish--salmon being the number one constituent--and you know what all those omega-3 fatty acids can do for the brain, especially the EPA and DHA.
In addition to sharing the house with Wonder, I have the cats, who have done more than you can imagine to keep the Genome upright and balanced. Perhaps the word "distracted" would be the mot juste.
I also live near the coast now and the ocean has always been my spiritual home. I have lots of free time for running up and down Ocean's Highway and experiencing the joy of the open road. This open road motif figures strongly into my Evil Plan for World Domination--more on that as it develops. Stay tuned, please.
So if life has been improving, albeit slowly, why so glum, Genome? Ah yes, that's where the rug burn happens...Princess Amy.
Yep, that defective little tyrant in the middle of my brain works ceaselessly to point out all the nasty aspects of living in a world dominated by humans. Chances are that you live in a world dominated by humans too. It seems to be another of those pandemics that are so popular today, but one that doesn't get as much recognition as the others.
This doesn't mean that my plight (yours too?) is hopeless. Not at all because I have a secret weapon. I can't tell you what it is here in this post because I don't want the Morrigan to know the details of my Evil Plan. But if you're interested in hearing more about it, leave a comment below and we can discuss it over coffee.
Though I can't speak of it in concrete terms, I can give you a metaphorical hint. Remember the raindrops that keep falling? Well, I recently had me a talk with the sun, that slacker, and I mean a big talk with impressive topspin. I let him know that I didn't approve of his inaction. Sleeping on the job is how I put it to him.
Still, those raindrops keep falling and I know I'm never gonna stop them by complaining. That's where my secret weapon comes in handy. Fierce Qigong, I call it. Again, can't give you the details just yet but my childhood mantra, "I'll never eat pine needles," is the core element.
That mantra may be new to you. I don't speak of it much. It's an inside thing that simply means crying's not for me. You see, I know that the blues they (the Morrigan) send to meet me won't defeat me. It's never long before happiness steps up to greet me.
That's essentially all you need to know about Fierce Qigong. And to be frightfully honest, there may be a few tears involved but certainly no wailing and gnashing of teeth. Nothing like all that outer darkness ranygazoo.
In those darker moments, I simply get a steaming cup of Jah's mercy (coffee), get out onto Ocean Highway in Wind Horse with the windows down and the volume turned up to 11. That'll fix anything.
When I'm feeling better about life, I get Mumps on the phone and we clearly identify each of the problems caused by earthlings and the options our alien shepherds should consider to fix them. And when I say "fix them," I mean the problems and the earthlings, of course.
Wow! I surprised myself with this one. I actually revealed the essentials of Fierce Qigong for the first time and I went a long way to establish context for my Evil Plan. That pleases me because I always want to offer something of real value to my tribe and you are a very important tribe member.
Thank you for giving me some of your attention today. Now, before closing, I'd like to offer my sincere apologies to Hal David and B. J. Thomas.