A Fair Summer Morning

Sunshine fell graciously on the walls of Chadsford Hall and infused the surrounding gardens and terraces with a certain something, a pleasant jauntiness, so that birds chirruped happily and cats murmured their contentedness. Cooled by the shade of the cypresses and refreshed by the contents of the amber glass, ice tinkling musically as I lifted it to my lips, I had a achieved a nirvana-like repose. Storms might be raging elsewhere but here on the back lawn there was peace--that perfect unruffled peace that comes only to those who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it.

In these rare moments between depression and mania, the Genome is a dapper guy on whose gray and thinly haired head the weight of a consistently misspent life rests lightly. It is a mystery to those who know me best that one who has enjoyed life right down to the worm should, especially when reaching that certain age when most are paying for it, remain so superbly robust. It's the wildness that does it, if you want my opinion. We are born wild and the wise and the reckless remain that way. Domestication is unnatural.

On this morning, the brightest and merriest of the glad new year, upholstered in the costume of a qigong coach, Thai fisherman's pants hanging loosely from the hips and a baseball-style shirt bearing the strange device of two tigers arranged in the taijitu symbol, I was just getting busy separating earth and sky when Ms. Wonder blew in like a cossack of discontent.

No matter how balmy the day, when Wonder stamps a petulant foot and shakes a finger in the mind's direction, one can feel the chilly air of the Winter Palace blowing around the ankles. Her arrival coincided with the feeling that Greek fellow must have had with the axe suspended by a hair over his neck. I immediately sensed a twang of regret for I knew not what but expected to hear about in the next two minutes.

"The worst has happened," she ejaculated. Yes, I've searched the mental thesaurus and I'm sure that's the mot juste.

"Oh, yes?" I said for we Genomes are quick and I realized that her ire was not directed toward me this time.

"Buffy has struck," she said.

I mused for a moment, taking a deep breath and perhaps making a moue or two before replying, "The vampire slayer?"

Now she seemed to muse. Two musings in less than a minute. It seemed possible that this could turn out to be a big morning for musing. Then she gave me the eye and the eye she gave caused me to feel that coolness around the feet once more.

"Buffy my hair dresser, you goose. He's gummed the machinery," she said. "He's doing nothing about the music. For a week or two I thought he was just busy or waiting for inspiration but now I realize that he doesn't intend to do anything. He's going to dawdle and put the kibosh on the works."

I understood her concern now and I'm sure it is as clear to you that her words are the latest update on progress of her new line dance. She's creating one and she's enlisted allies in the cause--one to do the choreography and one to write the music. The lyrics are her own. I don't know where she gets her inspiration, perhaps it's the Russian blood. The people of the Volga seem compelled to compose music. She takes a line through Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninoff.

I removed the mental monocle and polished it metaphorically. "Buffy the Frizzy Slayer?" I said,  "I remember him well, nice boy. Not at all the sort of fellow to intentionally noble dogs just before the big fetch contest. No, I think you can dismiss Buffy as a carrier of malevolence. Too manic to do anything on the assignment is my guess. Put it out of your mind."

These words seemed like a good thing at the time and I expressed them with reserve fully expecting that she would see the wisdom of them and take a deep breath. Peace of mind is what I aimed for but not what I got. She seemed even more hotted up if anything.

"What are you driveling about?" she said with a slow shake of the head.

"Would you call it drivel?" I said. "Well, if it is, then it certainly isn't perfect drivel. I'm talking about people who may be expected to do the dirt, like Johnny Holiday, and people who may not, like your Buffy. You see it was nothing to the above Holiday to feed my cocker spaniel left-over steak and onions, without my knowledge of course, just before our contest to see who was the better retriever of tennis balls. When I threw the ball, Pluto just lay there, spread-spaniel with his ears unfurled and his eyes half closed. He was the perfect image of a fully contented dog."

"So you're saying that Buffy isn't..."

"Coming down like the wolf on the fold, and his cohorts gleaming in purple and gold? Not on the board. He's just pre-occupied, is my opinion. I have a suggestion."

She raised the eyebrows about a quarter inch but spoke not a word. I took it to be an invitation to continue. "Tell him that you've lost interest in the project. Seemed like a good idea at the time but now, life is coming hard and fast. Time to move on. Thank him for his efforts and recommend that he spend no more time on it. Then you simply get on with the project and he never knows the difference."

"Do you really think it would work?" she said.

"Works for me all the time. I call it the Genome Method."

"I'll think about it," she said. "Thanks."

"Not at all," I said.

She turned and started to move back across the terrace to the Hall but stopped as though her spring had wound down.

"Hello," I said.

"I was just thinking," she said, "that something about our conversation seems strange."

"Mysterious, you mean," I said. "Nothing mysterious really. It's just that you are usually coming up with the formula for my shortcomings and in the above dialogue, I was the balm that soothed your fevered brow."

"Oh, yeah," she said, "that must be it. Well, thanks again."

"Happy to have been of service," I said. "If we Genomes live for anything, it is to be of service. And this little bit of usefulness has made all the difference. Happy Birthday to me!"

Life is Good

I arrived early this morning, riding the shirtsleeves of the sun, who had awakened bright-eyed and gotten straight to the point. Not a bad opening for a yellow dwarf star. 

I deduced from the bird song redolent in the crepe myrtle and from the cawing redolent in the crows and from the speed-demoning redolent in the parking lot that the weekend had refreshed the great and the small without prejudice. 

I'm confident that all hearts were filled with gratitude for the ancient Hebrew invention of taking a day off every now and then.

But no gratitude beat in the breast of the Genome for it had been just one damned hour after another all week long. The Auditor was taking inventory as I parked and decanted myself in front of Native Grounds in the Renaissance District. The talley was: tired--yes; irritable--yes; angry--just a simmer.

Approaching the door, I saw a man on the other side cleaning the glass. He stopped cleaning as I grasped the puller and pulled. I took in his face and found that his countenance was not friendly. Stern I would have described it as. It was clear that this beni adam was not happy to see the Genome. I remember thinking how strange it was. The visage worn by this son of toil was the one Genome reserved for the Amalekites, Jebusites and Philistines.

It was with me the work of an instant to conclude that in an earlier era this guardian of the gate would have challenged me with a 'Friend or foe!' 'You're either with us or against us,' he might have declared. It wouldn't surprise me if he'd barely stopped short of ascertaining the color of my insides.

Immediately, the limbic system went into overdrive. A mental image of my hands sinking into the soft flesh of his neck filled the mental projection screen. Vivid memories of the taichi back-roll with feet planted in his belly and his body cartwheeling into the street completed the image.

I took a deep breath.

'Not today, Amy,' I said silently to the little princess shouting battle cries in my mind. 'Chill, baby. Remember, we don't know everything. This man may have had a bad morning.'

'I'll teach him what a bad morning really feels like,' she said or at least she seemed to say it.

"Good morning," I said to the neanderthal with a friendly nod of the coconut but he said nothing and continued to glare and chew his Juicy Fruit, mouth open, or it might possibly have been his tongue he chewed. Hard to tell.

Princess Amy, the tyrant of the underworld in the Genome's brain, is half Celtic, one-quarter Viking, and one-quarter Muskogee Creek, and I'm not so sure it isn't red camp Creek. When she is in full battle trance, she impresses not unlike the impression that Boudicca must have made on the front ranks of the Romans. 

She impressed like this now. One eye was saucer-sized, the other squinted into a mere slit. The lips were pulled from the teeth and the molars were grinding. Steam escaped from the seams which were near to bursting.

'Easy, old girl, there is more good than bad here,' I reminded her in soothing tones.

I reached the service counter and asked for a large, hot beverage and then searched the pockets for money. None was forthcoming. Then I perused the wallet for Genome's coffee allowance. Not there. Loaned to the needy and deserving yestereve. 

The outer crust maintained a semblance of calm reserve but need I tell you that Amy was now completely manic? She stomped the earth like a drum and sliced the forearms with an obsidian blade in the manner of the priests of Ba'al. She was in full battle frenzy and I'm sure the metallic taste of blood was in her mouth.

"Oh, that's alright," said the hostess. "We know you. Enjoy your coffee on the house."

Amy stopped her rant, the eyes opened wide. She collapsed in a heap, eyes staring blankly into the empty space that makes up most of the Genome mind.

"Thank you," I said to the hostess.

"Not at all," she said with a warm, wonderful smile that made all the difference.

'Take a deep breath,' I said to Amy. 'Life is good.'

Nature's Sweet Restorer

The stars had come out to play by the time we returned home from Winston-Salem where we had closed the Associated Artist's exhibit at Reynolda Village. It had been a long day and we wasted no time getting into bed to allow sweet nature to ravel up the sleeves of care. Somewhere in the night, in my dreams, I heard someone call my name.

"Did you hear that?" said a different voice from somewhere nearby and I was relieved to discover that it was Poopsie Wonder because, well, I'm sure I don't have to suggest the reason why. You can surely think of several good reasons on your own.

The first voice, let's call it Voice A, called again and, coming unexpectedly as it did in the middle of a peaceful summer night, it caused me to look at Ms. Wonder with wild surmise and she goggled at me with wild surmise. What rendered the thing so particularly unpleasant was that we had both jumped to the same conclusion. "It's your mother," Ms. Wonder gaggled as she switched on a lamp illuminating the clock on her night table that maintained the time at 12:30 AM.

I ambled to the top of the staircase and looked down at the specter in a cornflower blue nightshirt standing in the doorway to my mother's sitting room on the ground floor.

"Are you awake?" she asked out of concern for my safety should I stand at the top of a staircase while asleep. "Come here a minute," she said. When my mother says 'come here' it is not merely an invitation but more like a command from the centurion, a casual acquaintance of Jesus, who explained that when he said, 'Come,' they came. And so it is with me and my mother. I went.

Two hours later, after staunching the flow of blood from the motherly nose, and returning Reason to her throne, I was back upstairs and looking forward to returning to that dream where I was Bond and Ms. Wonder was Moneypenny. It promised to be diverting. I tilted the nightcap down toward the right eye, which makes all the difference.

A minute later I was in bed and within seconds I was joined by Abbie Hoffman, that tuxedoed American shorthair, who assumed his familiar position at my right side. It was now 2:30 AM and I was not exactly in the mood for a social reunion. I couldn't help but feel that he could have chosen a better time to get chummy. Still, not wanting to seem un-civil, I gave his chin a scratch.

He rearranged the cardinal points, anterior and posterior, and the expression on his map gave me to believe that something was not satisfactory. He seemed to be doing a bit of princess-and-the-peaing. I didn't like it. I was anxious to get down to some tired nature's sweet restoring. He stood, stretched, and moved to the foot of the bed, which I was all in favor of, but it wasn't to last. He returned to my side and I gave his rump a pat hoping that he'd gotten everything sorted out but no, it was another bust. He moved to the foot of the bed again but immediately returned to my side.

"I know where this is leading," I said, "and you're singing the wrong tune. You feel that old compunction to give voice to the wildness that sleeps in your breast but I ask you, is it wise? I know that you tell yourself that you can stop with one but isn't it the first yowl that does all the damage?"

"I don't have a problem," he said or, if he didn't actually say it, he gave me a look that did. "I'm not powerless in the matter you know. I howl because I enjoy the sound."

"Oh, what a tangled web," I said and I meant it to sting. "Is this the Hoffman spirit? Is this the American shorthair who used to play feathered stick with me when he was just so high?"

He didn't answer but went straight to his work, jumping from the bed and rushing downstairs where he took up position in the foyer. Moments later the first pleading cry floated up the stairwell. I'm not certain but it could be that a few passionate words spoken in haste escaped from me as I headed to the guest room.

Now, whether or not I would have achieved the dream state in that four-poster that filled the room I cannot say. This is the same bed I slept in as a young boy before my sister moved from her crib and I was awarded the living room sofa. It has been several years since I tried to actually sleep in this family heirloom and I found that a double bed no longer fits the Genome chassis. I guess I counted no more than a few dozen herds of sheep before remembering several pleasant nights spent on the sofa on the screened porch.

It was with me the work of an instant to be in position on that porch, a freshly brewed cup of ginger tea in hand, and the string lights turned on for mood. I sampled the tea. Perfect.

You know that feeling you sometimes get that someone is looking at you? I had it now. I was out in the open air with a night garden and a cypress grove just a few feet away and so I reasoned that there were probably lots of creatures of the night gazing in my direction. Then I heard a small, quiet voice address me from somewhere nearby.

"Whatch'ya doin'?"

In the dim light, I could just make out the form and color of the Siamese kitten that lives in the house on the hill behind the Hall.

"Oh, it's you, Lucy," I said cordially because I am partial to this little blue-eyed girl. "I'm planning to sleep out here tonight."

"Sorry to disturb you, sir," she said.

"Not at all," I said. "What are you doing out here?"

"I saw the lights come on," she said. "I like to sleep on this tabletop," she added as she walked a full circle and then sat looking at me.

"Nice night," I said.

"Bit warm," said she.

"Just so," I said and then the message in her recent words made themselves clear and I turned off the lights. "Well, good night, kitten."

"Good night, sir."

Despite the fact that the night was unusually warm, I found myself experiencing a soothing drowsiness just about the time the scratching began. I didn't have to look to know that the scratcher was Uma, Empress of Chatsford. Hanging out on the porch is a passion with this brindled lady and looking through the French doors to see me out here had gotten right up her nose.

I had two options as I saw it. I could either allow her onto the porch and wait for her to complete a patrol of the perimeter to secure the space, or I could move to the garage and sleep in the car. I didn't take time to weigh the options. I opened the door. But what to my wondering eyes did she do but rush to the other end of the kitchen where she stopped and looked back over her shoulder at me as if to say, 'Come.'

"What's wrong, Uma? Is Timmie in trouble?" I asked.

She twittered something under her breath sounding a little like, "Don't be an ass, it's time for breakfast." And in that moment I saw the soft, rosy light of dawn flooding the atrium behind her and I realized that another day was beginning in south Durham. It's just another example of what I always say. Life comes fast and hard and one must be ready for anything, don't you agree?

Morning Can Wait

"Are you all right? " asked Ms Wonder.

"I'm fine," I said without hesitation for the probability of being correct is one in two; not bad odds; and the Genome is a sporting man if he is a day.

It's my custom to rise at 5:30 each morning to feed the inside cats first and then the outside, to sluice the torso, fuel the mitochondria, and then hie for the open spaces of Dulce in the Sutton Station. 

To reach the morning, of course, you must practice the proven proverb of early to bed and continue there through the small hours, eventually arriving at the gates of a new dawn. But you probably knew that already.

The past evening found me continually awake with a song playing on the lips of the inner man. Does that happen to you? A song that you can't seem to shut off. If I remember correctly, it was a tune called, "I Have a Motorcar With a Horn That Goes Toot-toot." Couldn't get it out of my head.

I arose long before I arrived at the gates of dawn and by the time  I entered the salle de bain I observed in the mirror a man of my own age but not half as good looking. It was his eyes that arrested the attention. They were reddish in color and sagged beneath. The lazy eyelids were reminiscent of the Italian crooners of my youth.

The fact that I'd heard a young man driving an Audi refer to me the day before as a goggle-eyed turkey allowed me to recognize the man in the looking glass. Few turkeys have goggled as well as this specimen and any turkey would have been proud to do so.

"At least you're clean and sober," I said to the newcomer.

"Why shouldn't I be sober?" he said.

"I'm not complaining," I said, "I'm just saying."

"Having trouble sleeping is one of the textbook symptoms of overdone anxiety brought on by manic mental activity," he said. "Can you suggest anything that might account for it?"

"Well..."

"What? Say it!" he said.

"Is loopiness hereditary?" I said.

"It can be."

"Noses are," I said just to point out that some things are passed along from one to another generation.

"True," he said.

"This beezer of mine has come down through the ages," I said.

"Indeed?"

"My father had it; my grandfather had it; and my great grandfather had it. It accompanied my ancestors to Agincourt," I said.

"Were they at Agincourt?"

I nodded. "They came over with the Conqueror. My ancestor was a nephew."

"Would you say they were all dotty?" he said.

"Possibly," I said. "The Conqueror's sister's kid accepted a governing post in Hungary."

"I see," he said seeming to consider the pros and cons suggested by this fact. "How about your father? Did he have any structural weaknesses?"

"No, Dad was all right. He collected Zane Gray novels."

"He didn't think that he was Zane Gray?"

"No, certainly not," I said.

"That's all right then. Yes, I think I know the source of your problem."

"What?"

"It's the same fate that befalls many people who stand over six feet. You see, the heart has evolved over the millennia to pump blood and oxygen into a head that is five feet, eight inches off the floor. Stands to reason then that a brain so far away from the heart as yours can't possibly function properly."

I suddenly began to see this man in a different light. I didn't like the tone. All wrong as far as I was concerned.

"That's your opinion is it?" I said with more than a little topspin.

"The medical term is sublunary medulla oblongata diathesis."

"You made that up, you goggle-eyed turkey," I said.

"Very possibly," he said, "but I can't stand here arguing with you all day. I have writing to do."

I started visibly at these words. I realized that what he spoke was soothe and it was with me the work of an instant to gather the quills, refill the ink pot, roll up the sleeves and get straight to work. Maybe a nap in the afternoon you think?

Never Give Up

It was a great day in Southport, then it wasn't a great day, but then it was great again. The weather was consistently great; the sun shown, the breezes cooled, the rain showers refreshed. A squall blew in while we were seated on the covered deck of a dockside seafood restaurant and made the experience even more special for we love a big blow on the coast. The place we stayed for the week was nice too and it was located in the yacht basin--within walking distance of the cafe district and the riverfront.

Southport sits at the confluence of the Cape Fear River and the Intracoastal Waterway. From the river-front park, you can look out past Bald Head Island right into the face of the Atlantic. So if the weather was great and the location was great, I can hear you asking, why didn't we have a great time?

If you are a follower of this blog, you're aware that I have strong emotional attachments to my animals. I'm one of the many who suffer from extreme mood fluctuations and my cats help to keep me stable. When one of them is ill I tend to take it hard. I was taking it hard in Southport.

The two-year-old Eddy, a rescue cat that we've had since he was a ball of fur, has been sick and we took him with us thinking that he would be less stressed than spending the week in a boarding facility. He became more ill while we were in Southport. Two visits to the vet and a couple of not insignificant procedures later, he was recuperating in the townhouse.

Near the end of the week, Eddy had shown no signs of improvement and I was in the deep blue, down at the depths where sunlight doesn't penetrate. To relieve some of the stress I began walking toward the waterway because the breezes were coming from that direction and the wind on my face cooled the fevered brow.

The wind picked up and by the time I was at the water's edge, the wind was near gale force. 

I had to lean into the wind to keep from being blown backward. A dark wall of rain was moving toward me, so heavy that Bald Head Island was all but obscured. Lightning bolts flashed in the darkness. I'll bet you know how I felt. While down and wallowing on the ground, the Universe had decided to kick me with a hurricane-strength blow and a monsoon drenching.

Those who know me best will tell you that my motto is to live life on life's terms. I generally take whatever comes along and find a way to live with it. But sometimes life gets a little too zealous. Princess Amy, the name I've given to my hyper-sensitive amygdala, sometimes reads dramatic events as an invitation to roll up her sleeves and get down to it. She was doing so now.

If "life on life's terms" is my motto, then "fierce qigong" is my modus operandi. Standing on that sea wall, I looked the coming storm directly in the eye with an unwavering, lazy-eyed gaze. Although buffeted by the wind, I nonchalantly shot the cuffs and flicked a speck of dust off the exquisite Mechlin lace, and addressed the Universe like this:

"Do your worst, old girl. Blow with all your might. It's all in vain of course because the Genome is more than enough for whatever you've got. As long as there is breath in this body, I am stronger than the wind. As long as there is blood in my veins, the torrents are like a few drops in the ocean. As long as there is heat in my body, the lightning is no more than a flash.

In all the Universe, in all of time since the Big Bang, there is nothing to equal the human experience. I am a part of the ultimate form in all of creation. Even the angels are envious of man. I am enough for whatever life bungs my way and I will never surrender. So give it all you're got. I will be here when you are out of breath and completely wrung out. I will be here when the sun shines tomorrow and you are nothing but a memory."

The wind became quieter and once more refreshing as I walked back to the townhome. The rain held off until I was at the front porch. When I went inside to check on Eddy, I found that he was feeling much better and so was I.

Life comes hard and fast--be ready for it.