Raspberry Beret of Happiness

The key to happiness is found in fantasy. I'm not saying it's the only key to happiness. I'm sure there are others. I just haven't found them.

Life is chaotic and messy, and it never unfolds the way we expect. Fantasy, on the other hand, can be anything we want it to be. Fantasy is predictable, and that makes it immensely satisfying.

The kind of fantasy I'm talking about is the kind you create for yourself. It's a fact of human psychology that we all tell ourselves stories about our lives. The stories we tell become the lives we live. That idea is the reality behind the notion that we create our future. 

You see, we don't always clearly see the situations we're involved in. We make mistakes in that regard and see circumstances in ways different than any other sane person would. But it doesn't matter in the long run because whatever we choose to believe becomes our reality.

Intentional, meaningful fantasy can make the world a happier place by simply changing our view. That's why I write The Circular Journey. I create a fantasy that explains and overcomes the nonsense in my life. I accept the fantasy because it makes more sense to me and seems more real than so-called physical reality.

If you aren't quite convinced of the truth of my argument, consider the following:

For decades, I've loved the song, Raspberry Beret by Prince. I could never be unhappy hearing it. The curious thing is that I didn't know the lyrics, only a few words and short phrases. I decided to learn the lyrics so I could sing along.

What a surprise! I didn't like the lyrics; they disagreed with my moral compass. I stopped listening to the song. I felt like a man chasing rainbows with wild abandon until the rainbow turned around and bit me on the leg. My spirit was broken, as broken as the Ten Commandments.

Then one day, during my routine physical therapy, the song began playing on Spotify. I was so focused on the therapy, that I began singing and feeling joyful before I realized what I was listening to.

From that day forward, I was able to enjoy the song again by simply choosing to ignore the lyrics.

Eureka! The principle of displacement! 

Not the displacement that Archimedes was so fond of, but Eureka just the same. Displacing one value with another made me as happy as damn it! I don't know what that means either, I just like saying it.

What's it all about? Well, I've heard it said, and I believe it, that if you don't like the way your day is going, you can change it. You can start your day over as many times as you like.

Happiness doesn't just happen to us. We must choose to be happy and demand nothing less. Then we must keep on choosing it every day.

Whenever life isn't going your way, simply put on your raspberry beret, get on your metaphorical Vespa, and set out on the open road to blue skies and better days. Works for me.

You're Not Alone

One day, while searching for classic vinyl records in the thrift shops of Carrboro and Chapel Hill, I was treated to one of those serendipitous, magical moments that make you think the universe has a fun side after all. 

I stopped at the Open Eye Café for a mid-morning coffee break and I'm not setting you up when I say the barista who took my order looked exactly like Maggie Gyllenhaal. I know! It's true!

I wish I could post her photo here as proof, but I opened our conversation with that old line, "Don't I know you from somewhere else?" You can imagine the awkward response if I'd then asked to take a selfie with her. 

As Maggie made my coffee, I was struck by the thought, like a bolt from the blue, that life is absurdly unfair. Stay with me for a moment and consider, for example, that some remarkable musicians become World Party, while others become Fields of Mars. Not that there's anything wrong with the Fields. A fine, deserving group of musicians in my opinion, but I think you see my point.

Still, some Gyllenhaals become movie stars while others become baristas. This cosmic imbalance weighed heavily on my mind as I collected the coffee and took a table outside in the sun, but not too near the street.

My thoughts drifted into the void while I mused on the words of the Buddha, "All things are..." how does it go? Begins with an 'I.' Imperfect? Improbable? It's a word meaning things don't last forever.

As I said, I was lost in the void until awakened by another thought, one of many that arose like shiny, multicolored soap bubbles. Impertinent! No, that's not it, either. Give me a moment. Where was I?

Oh yes, another thought arose and this one reflected the iridescent words of Karl Wallinger. "What I see just makes me cry...clouding up the images of a perfect day."

So, how do I deal with the things that make me cry, like the Maggie / World Party shortcoming? That's my question. And after a lifetime of analyzing the thing, the best answer I've come up with is that one must simply find a way of accepting the situation and get on with it.

It’s not as grim as it sounds! Often, the things I think are disasters turn out to be blessings in disguise. Not always—I’m no Pollyanna—but enough to give me hope.

Looking back over my life, I realize that the best scenarios came to me accidentally. My best plans never worked the way I hopped--but the accidents--ahh, that's where the magic was found.

This perspective isn’t exactly warm and fuzzy—it requires a willingness to embrace a little risk. But here’s the thing: it’s much easier to face life’s curveballs with a tribe by your side. And The Cicurlar Journey is always here for you. 

Do you need a sympathetic ear to share the absurdities of Life? Simply leave a comment. Are you looking for someone to be by your side, you have them. You may not have met them yet but they're all around you.

You only need to remain open-minded and accept help no matter the source. If you do that, you will attract people to you.  And that, my friend, makes all the difference.

I was taught a little slogan to remind me that my tribe is out there looking for me--alone I may fail, but together we will succeed.

Give it a try. You've got little to lose. Stop judging, stop criticizing, and accept the help that's offered. You are not alone. 

Impermanent! That's what the Buddha said. I knew I'd think of it. I've been working crossword puzzles to improve my memory.