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Traffic Was Terrific!

"Genome!" I heard my name as soon as I stepped inside the door to Native Grounds. It was my two favorite caffeine addicts who, bless their hearts, had not expected to see me on this Easter morning.

I faced them and opened my arms wide to show that I was as happy to see them as they were to see me. Lupe immediately jumped up as though a stick of dynamite had warmed her seat and she began doing her Genome dance to the amazement and amusement of the holiday morning crowd.



"We didn't think you'd be here this morning," said Claudia. "Wasn't the traffic terrific?"

"If by terrific you mean terrific as in the song, There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays," I said. "As I remember, the words are, From Atlantic to Pacific, gee, the traffic is terrific. If that's the meaning, then I'd have to issue a resounding, No."

"You may not be aware," I said, "but the Memorial Bridge has reopened! That makes this day not only a holiday but a zippy-dee-do-dah day!"

"Wonderful!" they said in two-part harmony, or so I like to think.

"Yes," I said, "so much better than the previous weeks when Wind Horse was forced to circle the city before getting the all-clear to enter the downtown traffic stream. As I remember, the exact instructions from the traffic controllers were, Tuscon, you're cleared for landing as long as you stay in the two right lanes then take the second exit to 3rd Street Wilma. 

Upon hearing that last statement, Lupe gave me a crooked smile and shook her head to indicate that she'd rather I didn't go there.

"Complicated," said Claudia, "sounds like landing instructions for an airplane." Lupe turned toward her with a wrinkled brow. She seemed to think that we'd been diverted from the subject at hand. She was right of course but the whole thing suited me well so I continued to move it along.

"It was only Princess Amy up to her usual hijinks in an anxious moment," I said. "Last week you will remember, I was quite nervous about being in the left lane when I needed to be in the right. The traffic next to me was so dense, I couldn't see any possibility of merging."

"What did you do?" asked Claudia. Lupe placed her arms akimbo--is that the word I'm looking for--and then stamped a foot. She didn't approve of the direction of the conversation and wanted to make it clear.

"Princess Amy got hotted up," I said, "and shouted, Be worried!", but I remained calm and reassured her that although I was a bit nervous about the situation, it was not my first time."

"But when the truck ahead of me tried to occupy the same space that Wind Horse was occupying, I asked the Universe if there was anyone in the next lane who knew how to safely and responsibly drive a car. I also reminded her--the Universe--that a safe driver who had not had fish for dinner would be preferable."

"What did fish have to do with it?" asked Claudia. Lupe sat down and began thumbing through her phone. No doubt she was looking for something to help pass the time.

"Fish?" I said. "I'm afraid you have me in deep waters there. I heard it once in my youth while watching the movie Airplane, and thought that if it was important when flying then it was probably important when driving."

"Today is Easter," said Lupe, and I don't have to tell you why she brought up this new subject when the subject at hand was completely bereft of Easters.

I decided to give the young geezer a break, meaning Lupe, not Claudia, and follow the path of her diversion as though I didn't notice her attempt at misdirection.

What I had noticed when she mentioned the holiday was that a throng of coffee addicts, all of them complete strangers, never before seen in the Castle Street District, occupied Native Grounds this morning. All of them were probably visiting the metropolis of Wilma to take Mom to Easter brunch.

All these unfamiliar faces gave the place an air of Bizzaro Bean Traders. Not a pleasant experience by any reckoning. Still, it was made tolerable by the unique aroma of the globally grown and locally roasted.

All in all, I'd say it was a pleasing gift of a fine spring day and one worthy of appreciation. I wish you a day just as fine today. Thank you for being here to share a little piece of my holiday. Jah's blessings to you.