But here’s the thing: I can’t do it alone. Self-improvement isn’t just about me. It’s about Princess Amy too. She’s the gatekeeper of my emotional state, controlling whether I feel motivated or terrified, whether I move forward or freeze.
As I savored the first sip of my cortado, her voice drifted up from the chaise lounge in my midbrain.
“I know exactly what you’re thinking, Goofball,” she said. “You got all pumped up listening to that podcast, and now you want me to cooperate with your self-improvement schemes so you can grow and engage and become your best self.”
She delivered those three words in a scoffing whine.
“I respect your optimism,” she said. “I really do. But self-improvement is a mousetrap with a really convincing cheese ad, and I’m not falling for it.”
“I haven’t made my pitch yet, Amy. You could at least hear me out.”
“Nope. I’m projecting your pitch. You’re very predictable, and I say that with affection and an unhealthy dose of exasperation.”
“Okay, fair. But, look, I want to actually be the person I know I could be. I’m fed up with getting halfway to the finish line.”
I took another sip of Jah's mercy because I didn’t know what else to do. Somehow, it felt like putting a period at the end of the sentence.
“That foamy brew is delish,” Amy said, reminding me that she shares all my experiences.
“I know everything about you, Cowboy. I literally live in your head, which is why I can tell you the truth,” she said gently, probably to distract me from the obvious disambiguation of living in my head and telling me the truth.
“I just want to finish the things I care about, Amy. I want to accomplish something. I want to stop treating my projects like hobbies that I’ll get to when Mercury isn’t retrograde.”
“You mean Crystal Cove,” Amy said. “The novel you’ve been ‘working on’ since the Pleistocene Ice Age.”
“No, not that; I’ve given up on writing a novel. I sometimes can't see to finish a fifteen-minute podcast.”
“I know,” Amy said, her tone softening. “But here’s what I’ve learned from my front-row seat in your nervous system: the moment you start making progress at something, you move the finish line farther away. Then you either go berserk with anxiety or have a full-blown manic episode. It’s like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, thinking it will help to avoid icebergs.”
“That’s a very specific reference.”
“You have very specific kinds of anxiety,” Amy said. “But look, I worry about you. I really do.”
This surprised me.
“Worry about me?”
“Of course. I’m you, and you’re me. That brings us to the fundamental problem. You want to push forward as if you’re training for the Self-Improvement Olympics. I want to keep you alive. Those are genuinely different goals.”
“But if I don’t push, nothing changes. We might be comfortable, but we don’t grow. We think we’re secure, but we’re really just collecting dust.”
“We’re staying alive,” Amy countered. “Which is somewhat overrated as a benefit, but it does have some perks. Accepting yourself as a work in progress, unfinished but not broken, is more honest than pretending you can hack your way to happiness with a vision board and affirmations.”
“Your voice is literally what makes me anxious, Amy, and now you’re telling me to accept things as they are. The irony is as thick as...”
“Don’t say it, Buddy Boy. I can’t take another one of your metaphors.”
“I’m not pretending that writing enough pages or meditating the right way will make me feel eternally fulfilled and happy,” I protested.
“It won’t,” Amy said. “You’ll feel tired, vaguely guilty, and convinced you’re doing it wrong, which is its own special hell.”
“So what’s your solution? Just... surrender?”
“I prefer strategic retreat. My solution is keeping you off social media before you turn it into evidence of your personal failure. Maybe we could simply enjoy everyday life without conducting a cost-benefit analysis in real time.”
“I want both,” I said. “Leisure time and the podcast.”
Amy went quiet.
“Okay,” she said finally. “You’re right, and I hate when you’re right, but we’ll never move forward if I’m constantly hitting the brakes. But we’ll never be okay if you’re always pushing the gas pedal to the floor.”
“So what does that look like? Practically speaking?”
“It means you keep pushing so we don’t calcify,” Amy said. “And I apply the brakes to stop you from working so hard that you need six months in bed to recover. We’re both trying to take care of you. We just use completely different playbooks.”
“That’s actually pretty wise," I said. "Although I’d like to renegotiate the 11:30 p.m. anxiety spirals. The ones that convince me I’ll spontaneously combust if I don’t get out of bed and check the front door.”
“Those are important midnight wellness checks,” she said. “Non-negotiable. But I’ll take your feedback under advisement. Remember, I'm the manager of the limbic system; I have four hundred million years of evolution behind me. I’ve learned a few things. And here’s what I know: I like you. Even when you drive me up the wall, which is most of the time.”
“I like you too,” I said. “Even at 11:30 p.m.”
“We’re on the same side,” she said. “A two-person operation that happens to occupy one body.”
“A team,” I said. “I like that.”
“Good,” she said. “Now finish that coffee while it’s warm. Those almond croissants are calling our names, and we're going to need the sugar.”





